| New Feature. |
[Aug. 26th, 2004|05:46 pm] |
Hope everyone's having a nice summer. Remember, it's almost over. ^_~
I'm bringing something back that I haven't done in about 3 1/2 years. I'm going to do weekly music charts, mainly to get back into the swing of things. Back in my time at the 'Peg, I made music charts on my radio station and actually got a decent music listener base. My music tastes have changed since then (it was all electronica back in the day), so expect a lot of rock. I don't expect a big audience for a while with this new version, but with me starting a station shortly, I thought it would be best to put this in writing somewhere. So, here's the first batch. These will be put out every Thursday, and when the station goes live, it will be broadcast every Saturday & Sunday at an undetermined time.
Eventually, I will move this from my LJ to a new web site, but for now, you all get to suffer.
Vol. 1 - August 29 - September 4
1. (-) Fear Factory - Slave Labor - 3:54 - [Liquid 8]
2. (-) Switchfoot - Meant To Live - 3:25 - [Red Ink]
3. (-) Magna-Fi - Down In It - 4:11 - [Azera]
4. (-) Godsmack f/ Dropbox - Touche - 3:38 - [Universal]
5. (-) Evanescence - Everybody's Fool - 3:15 - [Wind-Up]
6. (-) Puddle Of Mudd - Spin You Around - 4:27 - [Geffen]
7. (-) Atomship - Withered - 4:04 - [Wind-Up]
8. (-) Stellastarr - Somewhere Across Forever - 3:14 - [RCA]
9. (-) The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk - 3:30 - [Interscope]
10. (-) Bad Religion - Atheist Peace - 1:57 - [Epitaph]
11. (-) Da Buzz - Wanna Be With Me (Club Mix) - 6:15 - [Phantom]
12. (-) The Cure - Promises - 10:16 - [Geffen]
13. (-) The Weakerthans - Our Retired Explorer - 2:23 - [Epitaph]
14. (-) Shinedown - Fly From The Inside - 3:54 - [Atlantic]
15. (-) Green Day - American Idiot - 2:58 - [Warner]
16. (-) Saliva - Survival Of The Sickest - 4:04 - [Island]
17. (-) The Postal Service - Such Great Heights - 4:27 - [Subpop]
18. (-) The Tea Party - The Watcher - 4:16 - [EMI]
19. (-) Edgewater - Inhale - 3:30 - [Wind-Up]
20. (-) Matthew Good - Put Out Your Lights - 2:02 - [Universal] |
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| Fighting The Good Fight... |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|01:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bad Religion - Athiest Peace | ] |
Pictures speak volumes more than I could. Enjoy.
Credit: www.freewayblogger.com
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| You know what sucks? |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|08:40 pm] |
Having to go to a funeral and getting sick after you get back from it.
*mutters something about Vitamin C and blows nose* |
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| Something to tide you over... |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|11:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Metallica - One (Live) | ] |
Sorry for those of you awaiting the big post. I know some of you have been pestering me about certain issues which I have brought up and the resolution to them, and you will not be disappointed. That will be done hopefully by end of week.
Until then, the Kenaston Logs...
Jun 25/04
9:48pm
Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head
I decided to take a walk through this place, much more comfortable now with the better part of a week here. I decided to write about it, to give you a glimpse of what life here is like...
I take a bath, wanting to relax & feel refreshed after a day of work, even if I have nothing else to do tonight. I slip on a pair of jeans, a shirt, and a cap, and take my CD player with me, as always. My place is on the southern edge of town, where the new, big houses are being built. There's a bit of a winding road to follow, until you get to the square grid that is the roads of Kenaston. As I'm walking, I see a group of boys, ranging from 7-12 years old, all laughing & playing in a yard. One is looking at me with intrigue, as he's never seen me before. This is surprisingly uncommon in a small town. As I round the corner of the road around their house, an older man, dressed in sweats & an old t-shirt, with a gut & a balding head, comes hobbling out of his house, down the steps, trying vainly to sneak up on his prey, the group of kids, with about 7-8 water balloons in his hands. His throws are errant, and the kids are alerted to their new foe. He stands stalwart, not moving awat from their retaliatory throws of watery doom. End result: He gets covered with water, and the kids are bone-dry. Yet he has a gigantic smile on his rotund face, as he hobbles inside, pride shattered. I turn onto the road leading from the highway. Mainly houses down this strip, some nice ones. Up 2 blocks is the school, a beacon of pride at this moment in town, as the graduation of 12 of Kenaston's finest students is tomrrow. I hear about it all the time, as everyone is proud of the kids, and no doubt they'll be off to bigger things, as towns like this just don't offer futures the way they used to. I turn onto a road leading behind the school, and you can see baseball fields, a main source of leisure & attraction here in town. The townspeople take great pride in their team and the fields, even if those same fields are in horrible shape. Yet beyond the field is a great landscape, where to your left is the highway, in the distance, with a truck heading down, and to the right is a couple farmhouses. The rest is a wonderful marriage of field & sky, and this being close to sunset, the sky shows colours that can only be seen at this time of year, at this time of day. I stop, take this in for a minute, and proceed back down the road I turned on, past a completely delapidated Royal Canadian Legion hall, which must not have been in use for many a year. I take a quick glance and see some of Kenaston's citizens, enjoying the fine weather & sitting in the backyard. As I go back onto the road heading further from the highway, I come across the finest & newest-looking building in town: The R.M. office. It's as modern as some of Saskatoon's municipal buildings, and I'm sure it looks nice on the inside. I get to the Pool tower, which signifies the end of this street, and proceed right. As I come closer to my workplace, I pass by a backyard, complete with slide, playground, and toys in the backyard. Uopn further inspection, I notice that this is where the hotel is, making it one of those true mom-&-pop businesses. You just don't see those in the city anymore. As I reach the Co-Op, my workplace, I glance out to the west. There, clear as day, is the sun, still above the hjorizon, but just barely. The intense glare pierces my eyes, blinding me for a couple seconds & forcing me to turn away. Yet it is one of the more beautiful sights you'll see, a sun setting over a flat horizon. I turn & head deeper into the residential part of town, a part I have not explored yet. As I go down 6th Ave, the value of houses drops dramatically. One trailer, with no access to the road, but only to an alley, looks particularly broken down, with broken blinds, a broken screen door, and easy visual access to the living room, where cartoons flicker on a TV, and a child sitting too close, and no parent offering an idle threat of "You'll go blind if you sit too close". Further down, a nice-looking home is marred by a shed, 40 years past its prime, which should be white, but with all the paint chipping off, the colour has changed to a rotting-wood brown. As I glance down the street, a teenage boy, maybe 14, runs out after a newer truck, trying frantically to wave it down with his arms. Then, he turns his head towards my temporary area of the street, he starts running towards an intersection. A yellow Mustang pulls up, but it's not for him. It's two older teenage girls, who leave him be. It's okay, that wasn't his target, as 5 seconds later, a different truck pulls up, and he jumps right into the passenger side of the vehicle. Then he turns an inquisitive stare my way, as to decipher who the hell I am. That still makes me smile. I keep on this street, with another main road as my end destination before I change direction. As I get closer, the same yellow Mustang passes by on the main road. That road is usually used to get to the highway, as it leads to the junction. I reach the strip, and pass by the much-heralded ice cream parlor, only it's an antique shop that sells ice cream. But I doubt many people go there for the antiques. The Mustang passes by me again, and I start to think that these girls have never seen a physical specimen that's as superior to anything they've seen as myself. Then I shrug and press on down another street, intending to eventually go home & kick up my feet. I pass by a house that has to be uninhabited. Then a house with a perfectly manicured back lawn, with an amazing array of stones acting as steps, no doubt crafted through many hours of hand labour. I turn towards the highway, and lo & behold, that Mustang pulls up to the intersection I just turned through. And just for kicks, they've decided to pass by me, no doubt wanting the closer look. I chuckle, and press on. There's a house at the end of the street with a few trucks in it. One person, who suffers from a bad back and can't move fast, slowly helps himself into his extended cab Dodge Ram. I immdiately recognize him as Dale, a man whose heart is as big as his frame is round. As he passes me by, he waves, and I nod my head. Another person passes me by, and offers a gentle wave as her gesture. I think I should get a counter & note how many people offer an unprovoked greeting, then compare it to going up & down Eighth Street a couple times. As I press on further, there's the Mustang again, this time further down the road. Then I pass on down the familiar territory, taking the path home that I do from my work, which is surrounded by beautiful trees. As I get within eyeshot of my home, I notice that there's no more kids in that backyard. I guess they're all inside, maybe sleeping. Maybe I should go to sleep too.
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Jul 3/04
10:27pm
Good Charlotte - Hold On (Shut up, Becky. It's a good song)
Okay, less filler, more killer. My job is okay, I'm working like 3 jobs in one at the local Co-op here in Kenaston. Working with older ladies is amazingly more dramatic than working with people my age. I forgot that tidbit after being away from it for 5 years. There's a few people there who are bitter about their life, and you can tell that, as bad as their working lives are, their home lives are a lot emptier. One or two in particular. Sad...
My mom's getting worse. She was getting bad even before I came out, I could tell over the phone. I feel bad, because I think I'm leaving sooner than she wants. But as opposed to the other two times, it should be on good terms. I hope...
The option has come to possibly move out west. There's a few of my buddies that are planning on moving to Cowtown. Lots of opportunities in Cowtown, but there's some loose ends in Toon Town that I'd like to clear up. Mostly revolving around closure issues. One was done with, at least for now. There's a couple others. Wonder if I'll get it done...
Been thinking lately about the future. Like what my 10-year reunion will be like. My Grade 12 year was my best, but lots has happened since then. That's 5 years away, let's hope I can make something of myself in that time. So far the past 5 years seems like a waste, career-wise...
I was a better person 15 months ago...
Thunderstorms on the flatland are amazing...
I'm going to find me a nice 17 year old and corrupt her, for only a few months...
Visited the city the past couple of days. Work shorted me most of my hours, so I didn't get to do nearly what I wanted, which was anything. But it was nice to walk down Eighth and have some busy streets. I'm definitely more at home in bigger venues. Wish I could have seen some people, but hanging with Mark, Scotty and crew was good for the homesickness...
I'm cheering for Greece for one game only. Damn you, England. And damn you, Beckham...
At work, since I don't have a uniform, I have to wear respectable shirts. I've now gotten a comment that I'm lucky, because all I wear is Transformer shirts, while the girls have to wear ugly uniform shirts. With my wardrobe, it's hard to stay respectable AND fresh. I got told that by one of the hotties out here, but unfortunately, she's married with one shackle. What's with me and tongue piercings...
I'm developing an urge to kill. But if I kill whom I want to, I'll ruin the reason why I'm killing the person. Now I know how Becky feels...
My thermometer looks like a big penis. Incidentally, my penis looks like a big thermometer...
Apparently, my mom's a huge KitH fan. I never knew that...
I have the next 3 days off. I've taken up swimming again, so I think I'll go a few times, watch some movies, and play Spider Solitaire. Who knew I could get so bored without Internet? Maybe I might actually get in shape, then plump out once I get the Net hooked up...
When nectarines & honeydews start turning your crank, it means one of two things: Either you're really horny, or you're getting too involved in your job. The solution to both is getting laid. Just with what is wherein the difference lies. Me, I'm pretty sure I need the naked chick, but I've never tried screwing fresh produce...
I'm scratching my balls. I think that means I'm done for now. Here's a piece of me for now:
"This car is automatic! Systematic! ULLLtramatic! Why, it's Greased Lightning!"
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Jul 4/04
2:59pm
The Who - Baba O'Reilly
Congratulations to Greece, champions of Euro 2004.
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Jul 5/04
9:10pm
The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
Small town, smaller world.
Good day today. Started with me taking a shift at work for the young girl who works there. Didn't look forward to working today, some shit has been flying around work, revolving around me, but everything was cool today. It was something totally unexpected that came about today that made this a cool day. Mid-afternoon, as I brought out some groceries for someone & loaded them into the person's car, I saw a VW Golf convertible pull up. The driver looked familiar, but I dismissed it. It's Kenaston. No one I know lives here. Well, I was right, but as I walked in, the person followed me inside, and immediately I recognized it WAS the person I thought it was.
Back in elementary school, I spent my last 2 years at River Heights, after spending 4 years elsewhere. During my last year, a girl named Haley Mahar joined up at our school halfway through. Very nice, spent my Grade 9 year sitting beside her in Drama class, got to know her a little bit. Always, nice, friendly, didn't judge. And impossibly hot. ;p
Anyways, she was on her way to Regina, where she lives atm, and her car was giving her trouble. So we chatted for a bit, and it was cool. Weird that I'd run into her here after not seeing her for 5 years. She gave me her phone number, and told me to come down to Regina and catch a Riders game and party with her. Who am I to refuse?
Fucking crazy. Oh, and the funny thing was, I was close to her height when Grad happened (I was about 5'5", she was 5'2"), and now I'm 5'10". Almost nobody recognizes me because I grew so much. It's funny.
Other news: I guess my mom's getting worse. She's going to 'Toon next week to get checked up on. It's probably a blessing in disguise that I came here. She could use the support.
If it sounds like I'm a little happier than I was a few weeks ago, it's because I am. I have this policy to never delete my entries. It's good to see where I come from, and what I feel at certain times. It also makes me feel like a complete dork when I read back. XD
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Jul 6/04
12:45pm
Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains
Woke up early today, as yes, it's my day off. I'm starting to go to bed a little earlier nowadays, and I'm feeling better, more energy, blah blah blah. But as soon as I get the Net, I'm so going to turn back. XD
I've been playing around with fonts, getting ready for my new LJ. I'm going for a retro look, but I won't be able to totally pull it off. It'll take some fun this weekend, and might consume more time than it's worth.
It's quite cold out today, with a strong breeze blowing through my window, right beside my computer. It's nice for me, but I could see normal people complaining. LOL. I might go for a swim today, Kenaston has a surprisingly good pool, and I enjoy swimming a lot. Combats the time spent in front of the TV.
Reminds me, Tuesday has become reality TV night in summer, and there's some good ones premiering tonight: Big Brother 5, which is okay, some seasons have been good, some have sucked, and The Amazing Race, which is always ultra-cool.
Hehe, there's a dancing Saddam doll on TV. It's fun-knee.
Out.
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Jul 6/04
10:00pm
MGB - Man Of Action
Some quick fun notes before I get to the meat of this one.
- The Surreal Life 2, funniest shit I've seen. I have to download the episodes.
- I have the Net tomorrow. You should be reading this soon enough. Can't wait to talk to you guys.
Okay. This one is a heavy one, but not a woe-is-me tale. This is me making a life-altering decision, which could change my life for better or worse. Probably the biggest thing I've done in my life.
This weekend, I will try to contact my birth father. I've never met him. I know his name, where he lives, even other little details my mom has told me. Also, I know that I have two siblings. They're both younger than me, and the family lives north of Saskatoon. This is a pretty emotional decision for me, because I feel that the time is right for me, as well as hopefully him & his family.
The push for this came last night, although the desire has always been there. Every one of my friends had known both their parents. Some had divorced, but they had working relationships with both parents. I'm the only person, save Denelle, who doesn't know a birth parent that I know. Denelle, for her credit, was adopted, so she has parents. But because I don't know anyone in this situation, I cannot seek advice, but just go with my gut. It was hard, and many of my friends' fathers took me under, as one of their own, because they knew my predicament. That meant a lot to me, but ever since I learned what his name was, the story behind everything, I've wanted to know. What he's like, his side of things, what my siblings look like.
My father is 49 years old. His name is Thomas Dominic Barry. He moved here from Newfoundland, and he, with my mom, had me in 1981. When I was 6 months old, my mom deemed him an unfit parent, along with the fact that they couldn't resolve differences. So they split apart. He eventually moved to Martensville with a woman, who became his wife, and 3 years later, they had a son, Jason. From what I've gathered through friends, 2 years after, they had a daughter, as well. It's not so much that I need a father in my life, but I want to know my siblings. I'd also like to know my lineage on that side of the family.
I never really put much thought into seeing them when I was told 4 years ago. I was young, didn't feel mature & ready to absorb what could happen. Hell, I never really put much thought into this for a year until last night. On the TV show Big Brother 5, they added a twist to the show: Two of the houseguests are related, as half-brother & half-sister. They didn't come right out & tell them, but the older brother figured it out. He elected not to tell her, but ask questions, as his story is quite like mine. He never knew his father, so he asked so many questions, and all those questions were things I had always wondered at one time or another. Then it hit me: my friend lost his dad at 50. It's sad to think, but what if he died prematurely, and I never got to meet him?
There's so many questions I have. There's so many possibilities. Will he reject me? Will he resent me? Will he accept me? What will the kids think?
This very well could open up a new chapter in my life, ripe with possibilities. Or this will close the door that's been left open for 22 years.
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| Cryptic Post Before Next Update. |
[May. 25th, 2004|11:02 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | See Below. | ] |
Lyrics to Matthew Good Band's Change Of Season:
If they dropped the bomb
Would you love me then
If I was wrong
Would it be okay
Well I can see holes in everyone
A change of season
If I found a way
To make amends
Would you say I was too late
Well I can find
The holes on anyone
A change of season
A change of season
I feel like I'm losing for money
I feel like I'm losing for free
I feel older than the dead angel on my shoulder claims to be
I feel like we're drinking and driving
I feel like we're running into walls
I feel like swimming in your apathy
You know I'd love to be your conscience when it calls
If they made me crawl
Would you love me then
If I was small
Would it be okay
Well I can see
The need in everyone
A change of season
A change of season
I feel like I'm losing for money
I feel like I'm losing for free
I feel older than the dead angel on my shoulder claims to be
I feel like we're drinking and driving
I feel like we're running into walls
I feel like swimming in your apathy as a kind of parody
For miles and miles, miles
I feel like somebody's missing
I feel like somebody's missing
I think somebody's missing
Credit. |
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| Phase One Complete. |
[May. 11th, 2004|01:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Auf Der Maur - Followed The Waves | ] |
2 weeks given. |
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| *wipes dust off LJ* |
[May. 10th, 2004|01:59 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pearl Jam - Dissident | ] |
Well, a lot has gone on since I last posted.
~ I went on a trip to Alberta for wrestling, which was awesome. Calgary's a nice city, better than I remembered. Had some fun times, although I had issues with some people being there. *shrug* Can't do anything about it.
~ Friends of mine moved into my apartment building at the start of May. Krissy & Chris are nice people, and a good couple. Krissy's closer with D, I'm closer with Chris, go figure. But it's someone to have some beers with in the privacy of our apartment building, which is cool.
~ Got back in touch with Jeff. Jeff's an old friend from Grade 7 whom I still talk to, although not as often as I'd like. There's reasons behind that, stemming from my roommate (more later). He was the guy I was going to Metallica with, so we needed to touch base & see what we were hooking up.
Then the shit started...
~ There's this girl, Cloe. Friend of Markus Dorkus. Cheerleads with Jeff on the Huskie Cheerleading team. Has a thing for Jeff. Also has a steady boyfriend. Okay, enough background. So she comes over with MD the night I had talked with Jeff. For some reason, she decides to get Denelle interested in Jeff again, who also has a girlfriend of 5 years. Now, let's do the time warp quickly...
*rewinds time back 4 years*
I had friends back in high school. I dated within that social circle. Denelle & I were good, but nothing compared to what I've had recently with Becky. I was always about sixth on her list though, as she had a long list of crushes, and I was the highest one on her list willing to date her. Jeff was one of her objects of desire at the time, but he was dating her best friend. Said girlfriend leaves town for a year, Denelle dumps me right away, plays human pogo stick with Jeff for a couple months, then gets her heart broken & dreams crushed when he chose said girlfriend over her. I thought she was over him...
*let's do the time warp again...*
So Denelle's been feeling lonely since the mess with Brett, her now-ex. I can understand. But Cloe starts REALLY pushing the idea that Denelle & Jeff should get together. I thought nothing of it, they're just chatting. Then a night or two later, Cloe comes up with a brilliant plan: Let's get Jeff & Denelle drunk together in the same room & see if anything happens. I was kinda laughing about it all, because the idea of it was crazy. I had no clue what Cloe was getting out of the deal, and I still don't, as she HAS a boyfriend, so unless she has a sick thing for making people miserable, I assume she would have dumped her bf to slam Jeff a few times. Anyways, getting back... We all gather at my place, Jeff brings Tathlina (said girlfriend), and Denelle slams back the shots with Krissy. We go to play pool, and Denelle starts chatting like she always does when she's drunk. I guess somewhere along the line, Jeff grabbed her ass, so she immediately thought that she had a shot. She's probably right, but Denelle has this problem of letting things go, especially when they mean a lot to her. Cloe's plan fails, as Jeff leaves with Tathlina, but they start discussing plans after the Metallica concert, and how I need to set things up so they can lay Jeff. I didn't think too much at the time, as I didn't care much, but it was like Denelle had regressed 4 years. She used to hate Jeff, or at least pretend, but since she's been feeling all lonely, she felt one more romp with Jeff was needed. I became less comfortable with the idea, as I think cheating is worse than murder, and I still have hard feelings after what happened last time. Even though I'm over Denelle, I still feel like that situation was the cause of our break-up (which is ridiculous, as we probably never should have been together in the first place). I finally snapped at Denelle, told her what I thought of the situation, and gave her a glimpse of what the consequences could have been: that I couldn't be friends with her if she started that shit again. I dealt with it & it nearly drove me insane. I didn't need it again, especially since I live with her now, so I can't really go home & avoid the situation, like I could have in University. She wasn't happy with me, but she complied. I hate being like that, where I have to put my foot down with her like she's a 6 year old, but sometimes she has the maturity of one, as you will read below...
~ Metallica was awesome. Krissy & Chris were there as well, so we all went together. Godsmack was on for 45 mins, 45 min intermission, Metallica for 2 1/2 hours. Amazing live performance.
Okay, on for round 2 of Shitstorm 2004...
Saturday, at Sport Mart, the two seperate locations were to have their own parties, and then meet afterwards at Overdrive. I had the day off, so I relaxed, got a few groceries, chilled. Our party ended up being cancelled, no big deal. I didn't end up going to the bar. Unfortunately, I guess Denelle made a gigantic ass out of herself at the bar. She did enough stuff to make me lose it. Here's the deal:
I won't say what she did until I get confirmation. I don't even need to explain it really. But with all the shit lately revolving around her & her immaturity, whether it be with emotions or booze, I have finally had enough. Unfortunately, that also came on a day where I wasn't too happy to be at work. So I did two brash decisions: I have decided I'm moving out of the apartment ASAP, and I'm giving my two weeks notice in 9 hours. There are many reasons for both, which I can more easily explain on the phone, but I'm doing what I feel is right at the moment to maintain some sort of balance in my life. I don't need other people ruining my life by doing stupid things & me having to be associated with those said things.
I'll update with more info in a later post.
I just feel bad things have come this far... |
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| I'm Alive. |
[Apr. 22nd, 2004|10:24 pm] |
Quick note to say I'm alive.
I'll post an update on the trip very soon, hopefully with lots of pics.
Out. |
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| I'm Not Addicted... |
[Apr. 12th, 2004|04:12 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Radiohead - Optimistic | ] |
So, a week has gone by. I thought I would update with recent happenings, it's been a while for that...
I got my income tax refund after all. It was about $300 more than I had anticipated, so I went shopping. I went to A&B Sound & got myself a new portable CD player, complete with Atrac3Plus compression technology that allows me to put 250+ songs on a CD. I'm happy with that. Then I went down to Mcnally Robinson & picked myself a couple of books. There's this one pictorial journal I've had my eye on since November, about the Chernobyl accident & the effect it's had on the community. Amazing visuals, I'll get it on my next paycheck. The rest will be saved for my trip to Alberta this coming weekend. It's sad, but with me many times, money does equate to happiness. The good thing is, I'm happy now. *shrug*
The love life. Well, I know people get to see this, but I may as well be honest here. Things with the ex have been good. We've been hanging out recently, with others having loads of fun. Although the time spent is great, there are times where she brings her current interest along. The guy's cool. I dig him. They get along great as well, like how her & I got along, maybe even better. What hurts is when the PDA's happen, I hurt because I still want something more, maybe more than I can ask to have nowadays. I've never been a hopeless romantic, but I don't know where I stand with her as we haven't really talked about the issue in over a month. It's on my part, as I want her to figure it out for herself, but after talking with her & how she likes this guy, I really feel like this might be her chance at being happy. I have no clue as to whether or not she'd be happy with me. I'd like to think it would happen. I'm not sure about much in the heart these days...
The roommate. Well, she's not as much of a problem anymore. I can tolerate her as long as she's not being a stupid git. That and she keeps me full of Buffy. Offerings are good.
Work, that's another LJ.
Anyways, I'm doing the counselor thing right now. I'll update more later... |
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| Ego Boost. |
[Apr. 5th, 2004|11:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pacifier - Bullitproof | ] |
Woo. I got hit on by a complete stranger.
That's always a good way to start the day. Like Folger's in your cup... |
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| So, who wants to take a real quiz? |
[Apr. 5th, 2004|03:50 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | NIN - And All That Could Have Been... | ] |
Quick update before I get to the meat of the topic tonight...
I'm good. Worked 12 1/2 hours today. Still awake, running on 2 hours sleep. Might need sleep soon. I love being a night owl. Friends are good. Family is good. Could use more money. Love life is on life support, although interesting stuff happened on Saturday night. My back is really tense lately. Had a great weekend with fun people. That's about it.
Okay, so what's with the topic name? Well, I was bored, so I felt like updating my LJ. I wanted to do something a little different, so I Google'd "personality test", in hopes of something. I found what I was looking for: Jung's Typology Test. This is a test invented a long time ago, with simple yes-or-no answers to simple questions. If you were to ever go to a job placement advisor, they would make you take this test to see what kind of professions you would be most comfortable in. I've never taken the test until tonight, but it's pretty deadly accurate. I was going to post the most striking similarities, but all of it is on thr mark, so I decided to post 2 entries on what personality archetype I am. For starters, I am an ENFP, standing for Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving. Here's what it stands for:
- slightly expressed extrovert
- slightly expressed intuitive personality
- moderately expressed feeling personality
- distinctively expressed perceiving personality
Now, for those of you who know me well, and that makes up the majority of my LJ audience, I would like it if you would read through. It's very interesting unless you have the attention span of a horny 13 year-old boy in the women's locker room during a shower. Note that it will take a bit, so grab a beer or something. Post comments. Out.
Portrait Of The Champion Credit: Click Me
The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.
Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.
ENFP Profile Credit: Click Me & Scroll Down
ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.
ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.
One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting.
ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I'll just tell him.
ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice ("three quarter notes or four ... what's the difference?") Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.
Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone , especially on a regular basis.
One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends.
ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.
Functional Analysis
Extraverted iNtuition
The physical world, both geos and kosmos, is the ENFP's primary source of information. Rather than sensing things as they are, dominant intuition is sensitive to things as they might be. These extraverted intuitives are most adept with patterns and connections. Their natural inclination is toward relationships, especially among people or living things.
Intuition leans heavily on feeling for meaning and focus. Its best patterns reflect the interesting points of people, giving rise to caricatures of manner, speech and expression.
Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary feeling is nonverbally implied more often than it is openly expressed. When expressed, this logic has an aura of romance and purity that may seem out of place in this flawed, imperfect world. In its own defense, feeling judgement frequently and fleetly gives way to humor. ENFPs who publicize their feelings too often may put off some of the crowd of friends they naturally attract.
Extraverted Thinking
Thinking, the process which runs to impersonal conclusions, holds the extraverted tertiary position. Used on an occasional basis, ENFPs may benefit greatly from this ability. Less mature and lacking the polish of higher order functions, Thinking is not well suited to be used as a prominent function. As with other FP types, the ENFP unwary of Thinking's limitations may find themselves most positively mistaken.
Introverted Sensing
Sensing, the least discernible ENFP function, resides in the inner world where reality is reduced to symbols and icons--ideas representing essences of external realities. Under the influence of the ever-present intuition, the ENFP's sensory perceptions are in danger of being replaced by hypothetical data consistent with pattern and paradigm. When it is protected and nourished, introverted sensing provides information about the fixed. From such firm anchoring ENFPs are best equipped to launch into thousands of plausibilities and curiosities yet to be imagined.
Perhaps the combination of introverted Feeling and childlike introverted Sensing is responsible for the silent pull of ENFPs to the wishes of parents, authority figures and friends. Or perhaps it's the predominance of indecisive intuition in combination with the ambiguity of secondary Fi and tertiary Te that induces these kind souls to capitulate even life-affecting decisions. Whatever the dynamic, ENFPs are strongly influenced by the opinions of their friends. |
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| Pfft. |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|04:32 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Covenant - Stalker (Club Mix) | ] |
Yeah, so I might settle on the colours I have. I've yet to decide the text issue, as to whether or not to make it black. We'll see. I did finally settle on a journal name though. "House Of Smoke & Mirrors" is a term I took from probably my favorite songwriter, Matthew Good. It's a name of one of his better songs, and it's a great name, as sometimes my life seems like I'm going through a place where some things seem real, but aren't. I've been listening to a lot of MG lately, which for me is a good thing. For others, I become a sarcastic asshole. I guess everyone wins!
I've been keeping busy the past few days, might post about some interesting details later. But I would recommend seeing 21 Grams, a movie featuring Benicio Del Toro & Sean Penn. Very disjointed to start, but the director makes you earn what turns out to be a fantastic story that unfolds. Worth a rent, for sure.
Until later. Out. |
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| 26th Post. |
[Mar. 29th, 2004|03:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary | ] |
Just test driving the new digs. Hope you all like it, might change it later. Give me feedback. |
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| I Feel It Coming On. |
[Mar. 28th, 2004|02:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | High Holy Days - All My Real Friends | ] |
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*TWITCH* |
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| My Neck Is So Stiff, I Think I Got Some Viagra Lodged In My Throat. |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|07:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Closure - Look Out Below | ] |
Okay, round 2.
So I went to TUG last night. Lots of fun, actually. I got in, scoped the place out & saw SC dancing. I went slinking, checking the new digs, and eventually made my way towards the familiar face. SC ran up & gave me a bug hug, then we sat down. Me being cold after a long walk, I relaxed. There was some good tunes playing, they've mixed it up a bit. That was nice. We made ourselves over to the lounge, and this is what I don't like about this new incarnation of TUG: The lounge is now totally seperate, and you can only drink in a place that's totally secluded from the dance floor. I can understand, as when TUG was in their old digs, age meant nothing when you had a pull. Still, kinda crappy. Whatever. It means less underage fat chicks. So this was a funny night for a few reasons. SC's semi-thing showed up, same guy who came to the Tea Party concert. This guy's claim to fame: He knows his music. After SC slinked away to chat it up, I talked with him. Nice guy, seems very into his art, but he can match me in music knowledge, so I can dig that. SC called me over to finish my beer & join her in dancing, so we danced a bit. Then she decided to leave, but I heard something I couldn't help but dance to: Intro by KMFDM. I was rocking out with Reese & this other guy that I always see everywhere, we chat sometimes, but I don't know his friggin' name. But we rocked out, then Du Hast came on. No one leaves the floor when Du Hast comes on. No one. So there's me, with semi-whiplash & a few beers in me. Yeah, not good. It was damn fun though.
SC was chatting it up in the lounge, so after I had talked with some other people, I went & told her I'd be back. Then I left for about 30 minutes walking around downtown, the focus of the earlier post, just chilling. Went back, finally found out who Daniel was (He's a cool guy, now I know that). Then SC said we were taking off. The next 15 minutes are akin to a blood test, where you know it's going to hurt, so you soldier through b/c you won't feel it a day from now. But I got a ride with SC & the immensely cool duo of Stan & Marge. It was a relaxed night, not much drinking, not much dancing, but just enough for me to feel that TUG vibe that's always good.
Anyways, today, my neck really hurts, so I'm going to ditch Vampire & stay at home, play some PSO3.
Cheers. |
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| It Began With A White Blanket Of Snow... |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|03:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tea Party - Lifeline | ] |
Tonight, I went to TUG for the first time in almost 6 months. Not much has changed save the venue. But I wasn't in the normal mood that I usually am when I go there. Let me explain...
I decided to go mainly because I had nothing better to do tonight & because ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sparkly_colour brought it up that I should go. After a little bit of deliberating, I thought it would be fun. TUG is never like your normal bar, after all. I walked there after work & got there after 11pm. The place was far from packed, which I gather seems to be the norm, but there were some familiar faces. After a little bit of dancing, drinking & discussion, I found myself not doing anything constructive. I decided to take a walk outside, just for some fresh air. When I got out, I realized I liked it more outside than in the industrial jungle. Not that it was sucking, but the night was a nice one. But there was something else about it that seemed like home...
It reminded me of Winnipeg. When I used to go to work, I would make a 30-minute walk to downtown Winnipeg & catch the first bus out to get to work on time. I would get out about 5am, and the sky was still dark. These were the days where I was hurting inside. I had just moved there due to problems with my mother, and the fact that I wasn't talking with her. I had moved away from my friends, and moved to a place where I had nothing. It was one of the toughest times of my life, and the only place where I found solace was in the tunnels & alleys of downtown Winnipeg. It was good for me because the centres were deserted, it felt like only I existed. Yet it was also good because I knew I was alone in a big, big world, and that the only person I could ever truly rely on was myself. I was genuinely scared, because I had no clue what I was doing. I just knew I was running from everything that was bothering me.
Fast forward to tonight. I took a long, slow stroll through the alleys. I found a familiarity that was intoxicating. Listening to Lifeline by the Tea Party helped accent the mood, as I was listening to that song throughout my tenure in the 'Peg. I was looking back on my life then, and comparing it to now. I was a scared 18 year old kid then. I'm now a confident 22 year old man. I've dealt with many of those things that plagued me. Yet there's some things that I may never address that have bothered me & made me run. But tonight, I had that feeling. The only person you can truly count on is yourself. I've come a long way. I have so much longer to go.
I can still trust my friends. That will never change. But when my back was against the wall, there was only one person to pull me through. And that person will always remain the most important figure in my life. It's amazing what a blanket of snow & a song will remind you of when you take a walk.
Quick Mid-Morning Add-On: Before I get weird comments & things of the nature, no one should take this as an indictment. Nobody has fallen out of favour with me, this was just a random event that happened on a very interesting night. Cheers. |
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| Mercy Is The Cry Of The Soul That's Stirred... |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|02:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tea Party - Mantra | ] |
That's the line that did it. I have no voice. It blew out during "Mantra", the best song off of Interzone Mantras.
Nothing much in life equals a great concert for me. This, as always, was a great concert by The Tea Party. My shirt is dripping in sweat, my neck is killing me, the aformentioned voice, and I would never trade the experience for the world.
As close to perfect as a night can get.
Enjoy life. |
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| Do Not Feed The Rock Stars. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|12:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Copious Amounts Of Kid Rock. | ] |
Saw a funny thing on the bus, so I thought I'd warn you guys.
Here in Western Canada, we're privy to a species exclusive to us. Humanoid in nature, you've probably seen this free animal roaming in a broken-down car, bus, or walking in the scuzzy part of town.
I'm, of course, talking about the dreaded Kim Mitchell look-a-like.
For those of you not aware of who Kim Mitchell is, here's a picture of him in his prime:
Now, for the tell-tale signs that you have seen or encountered one of these look-a-likes.
- Long scraggly hair, usually kept under a baseball cap.
- Denim or neon jacket most likely still from the 80's.
- Denim pants, usually tight. Extra points for the look-a-likes with the tears in the jeans.
- A horribly ugly face, usually reserved only for the likes of Canadian rock.
- A perma-tan, from sitting outside drinking beer for 13 years listening to "Go For A Soda".
- Usually very friendly, even to those who would rather ask him to take a bath.
- Something to do with the Blue Jays on him.
If you do encounter these creatures, try to hold your laughter & comments like "Dude, is that Kim Mitchell?" to yourself. This can anger & embarass the creature, sending it into a spiral of disarray much like Kim Mitchell's career.
Also, for those of you living in Vancouver or Chilliwack, B.C., take extra precaution. It just might be Kim Mitchell. |
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| (Ctrl + C) + (Ctrl + V) = Post. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|01:57 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Def Leppard - Foolin'. | ] |
If you...
1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? Some of the finest steaks you could find, coupled with great potatoes. Hooray for 12 oz. NY steaks & garlic whipped potatoes.
2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? Air Guitars.
3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? Um, I'm writing a script. Does that count?
4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? History.
5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? Drum & Bass/Acid Trance.
Happy 20th, Becky. |
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